Happy With Who I Am: A Teen's Coming Out

My life took a sudden change in June of 1999 - I became curious about the same sex. Although I didn't really trip out, I didn't know what to think. I went to this party one night and saw this girl. She was a very attractive brunette and the sight of her drove me crazy.

I took my chances and leaned in and kissed her, and she kissed me back. It was the most special thing that I have ever felt. I felt loved, and I felt free. There weren't any troubles in the world.

I had to attend my first year of high school the following August. I was so nervous. It wasn't the fact that it was high school, but the fact that I was something other than "normal," something other than straight. I went to school like usual and told no one about my experiences, much less about my preferences about to the same sex. There were so many attractive girls on campus. One of the girls caught my eye. She was a senior and she also happened to be a lesbian. Everyone knew and no one cared.

My social life took a big turn. My dad teased me. He called me a dyke, though I would always deny it. I really debated whether to tell my parents. I hated keeping things from them.

One day when my dad had gone to work, I sat down with my mom. I said, "Mom, what would Dad really think if I was a dyke?" She looked so shocked. She said, "What the hell kind of question is that?" I said, "Just curious." She said, "Monique, what are you trying to tell me?" I asked, "Well, what are you asking me? Are you asking me if I'm gay?" She asked, "Is that what you are trying to tell me?" Then I said, "Okay, yes, Mom, I am very attracted to the same sex, I think I'm gay."

Her face turned blank and she said, "How can you say that you're bisexual or a lesbian when you have never kissed another girl?" I cried and again tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen. I told my dad about the incident the next day. He said, "I don't care if you're bisexual or you're a dyke. I'll love you anyway. Be who you are. Just finish school and get somewhere in life." I am very grateful that he didn't get mad, or that he really wasn't against it. Now my mom actually talks to me about it, though we still argue.

Since school started, I have gone out with a few girls. People sometimes ask me, "So what are you?" I say I am a person, a normal person who just happens to be gay. It helps a lot that we have a self-esteem group at my school. It is a group of twenty or twenty-five people and still growing. We help each other with problems.

I am really grateful that I go to my school. There are so many gays, lesbians, and bisexuals at my school.

A while back, I read a long list of rights that gays, lesbians, and bisexuals don't have. I was aware of some of the rights yet I never knew that there were quite so many. I just want respect as an equal. I live my life to the fullest now and I'm very proud of who I am.

I am happy with who I am and everybody knows that. I'm still young and I'm not sure what I will be thinking or doing four years from now. But I do know I am never going to be ashamed of who I am. I encourage others to do the same. Follow your heart because your heart will never lie to you. Put your own happiness before the happiness of others. Meaning: don't worry if other people like you or even if other people agree with you, just be happy. That is all that will ever matter.