Warren Blumenfeld: About Gay-Straight Alliances

Warren Blumenfeld
Jan 01, 2000

1. OVERVIEW OF GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCES AND OTHER SUPPORT GROUPS

2. TEN STEPS TO STARTING A GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE AT YOUR SCHOOL

3. TOP TEN IDEAS FOR AWESOME MEETINGS

4. EXAMPLES OF GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE ACTIVITIES 5. ABOUT BECOMING A FACULTY ADVISOR OVERVIEW OF GAY/STRAIGHT ALLIANCES AND OTHER SUPPORT GROUPS

School-based support groups provide students with a place to meet and talk about issues relating to sexual orientation. These groups can help to change the climate of a school and make it safer for all students. There are also numerous community-based groups that reach out to young people. This section takes a comprehensive look at different types of support groups in Massachusetts for students as well as for teachers, parents, and community members.

< B>GAY/STRAIGHT ALLIANCES

Gay/Straight Alliances are the most popular model for school-based support groups for students in Massachusetts. These groups are student-run and have a limited number of faculty advisors who help facilitate the group, offer resources and support, and mediate discussions. Some groups meet more often than others: Barnstable High School's group meets once a month. Watertown High School's group meets once a week. The sizes of groups also vary widely from school to school from a few members to over fifty. It doesn't matter how many people go to meetings; the work Gay/Straight Alliances do fighting prejudice and discrimination can impact on the lives of everyone in the student body.

The groups are designed to meet the needs of students who are interested in addressing issues related to sexual orientation and anti-gay prejudice and to address the concerns of lesbian and gay students and their friends. They provide a safe and informal place where students can:

* Talk about their feelings and experiences regarding homosexuality;

* Learn about homophobia and how it affects everyone;

* Educate each other and their school community about issues relating to sexual orientation (including planning a Day of Awareness for the school community); and

* Have fun going to movies and plays, hosting dances, going on picnics, attending political rallies and marches, hosting speakers, writers, artists, and musicians, etc.

Gay/Straight Alliances help to reduce anti-gay violence, harassment and discrimination by educating the school community about homophobia and by encouraging a greater degree of understanding from students and school personnel. The groups also give gay, lesbian, bisexual, questioning, and heterosexual students a safe place to discuss their feelings and fears related to sexual orientation.

A brief sampling of high school campuses reveals a variety of names for these groups. Some use "Gay/Straight Alliance" in their title-- for example, Belmont High School Gay/Straight Alliance--while others choose more distinctive terms like SPECTRUM at Concord-Carlisle Regional High School and Project 10 East at Cambridge Rindge and Latin. Some unique names at private schools include Northfield Mount Herman School Homo-Bi-Hetero Society, GASP! (Gay and Straight People) at Milton Academy, and LeSGaB (Lesbian, Straight, Gay, and Bisexual) at Noble and Greenough School.

Many groups suggest drawing up a list of rules that might include:

* Meetings and discussions are confidential--names of group members and anything said at meetings are to remain within the confines of that space;

* Students, teachers, and staff participate as equal members;

* Members are in no way obligated to declare or define their sexual orientation, nor are any assumptions to be made regarding members sexual orientation.

Groups tend to change their agendas for each week depending on the needs of the participants. Most try to strike a balance between the political work of raising consciousness and reducing homophobia at the school, and dealing with the more personal or emotional issues of the members and offering the members support.

Rachel Mazor, a member of Brookline High School's Gay/Straight Alliance sees progress as a result of her group. "There has been a change in the general atmosphere of the school. There is an enormous awareness of what homophobia is and that there are homosexual and bisexual students." She said that since the creation of the Gay/Straight Alliance teachers have attended workshops to manage their own homophobia and that of their students, and are learning how to help students who are struggling with issues of sexual orientation. "People are now willing to interrupt homophobic jokes and slurs. People now include sexual orientation when talking about diversity."

OTHER SCHOOL-BASED SUPPORT GROUPS

There are other models for support groups beside Gay/Straight Alliances. Listed bellow are some of the more popular models for groups that offer support to students, teachers and school staff, families, and community members.

STUDENT AND FACULTY GAY/STRAIGHT ALLIANCES

Some schools have set up alliances that are open to all adults and students. This model hasn't been as effective as the student-run, faculty advised model. Students complain that faculty members spend too much time talking about their own issues and dominate all discussions. Over time, fewer and fewer students attend the meetings. Faculty who want to join a group might consider forming their own Parallel Faculty/Staff Support and Study Group.

PARALLEL FACULTY/STAFF SUPPORT AND STUDY GROUPS

These groups have sprung up in a number of high schools. They are in addition to student-based support groups. Student liaisons are invited to attend these groups and to offer their input or bring up some of the issues that the student group has been dealing with.

Peter Atlas, a teacher at Concord-Carlisle High School, said that his school has formed a committee on Gay and Lesbian Student Safety. The committee has two faculty sub-groups in addition to the Gay/Straight Alliance. One sub-group deals with issues of Curriculum and Support by addressing ways that teachers can integrate gay and lesbian issues into the curriculum and offering faculty training, gathering resources. The second sub-group deals with Outreach to the Community by looking at ways to solicit resources and help from the community and to address concerns of the community and parents.

SUPPORT GROUPS FOR GAY, LESBIAN AND BISEXUAL STUDENTS

Emily Hollander, a student at Newton South, said "I think there should be a group for only gay, lesbian and bisexual students so they can feel less alone and more comfortable with themselves while they are in or out of the closet at school." Some schools have formed these groups. One student said that her school has a group for gay/lesbian/bisexual/questioning/transgender students that meets in the home economics room. She said that's a "good place because there's a microwave in it and it's fairly out of the way." Some students also advised against publicizing the group. "It should be by word of mouth," one student said. "Otherwise people will be snooping around." Of course, this presents the problem that students who are extremely closeted may not learn about the group. There may be no easy or perfect solution. Some schools may be safe enough for students to be "out" and openly questioning their sexual orientation. In other schools, they would be in danger. Each school must make its own decision about whether or not to publicize the group.

HUMAN RIGHTS GROUPS OR DIVERSITY GROUPS

Patrick Tortora, a guidance counselor at Cape Cod Tech, said that "Because we felt our school was not ready for a Gay/Straight Alliance, the group was advertised as a Human Rights Support Group. We have discussed instances of discrimination and harassment in school, dealt with family issues, and talked about job discrimination." Norwood High School has an "Alliance Against Discrimination" that has 20-40 student members. Schools that are particularly hostile to addressing gay and lesbian student safety may want to establish Human Rights or Discrimination Groups. These groups can look at the commonalties among various forms of oppression including racism, sexism, ageism, classicism, anti-Semitism, and homophobia. After educating their school community, some of the students may be interested in forming a Gay/Straight Alliance.

ALUMNI GROUPS

These groups are designed for school alumni interested in issues affecting gay and lesbian students at their Alma Maters. Boston Latin's Alumni helped students form their Gay/Straight Alliance. Some alums have returned to their schools to offer presentations about their experiences dealing with anti-gay harassment or discrimination.

COMMUNITY-BASED SUPPORT GROUPS

COMMUNITY STUDY GROUPS

Patricia Boland, a teacher at Mount Everett Regional School, said that "in our district at this time, I feel that it would be difficult for students who are gay or lesbian to come forward, to be in a school-oriented group. They may, however, feel safe enough for a community group." Community study groups are usually open to all interested students, parents, teachers, administrators, and community members.

Pat Griffin, a teacher at UMass Amherst, has been involved with a community study group in the Amherst area. She said the group has focused on ways to implement the Board of Education's Recommendations on the Support and Safety of Gay and Lesbian Students in the junior and high school. The group began when a team of teachers and an administrator from the high school went to the Safe Schools Program Workshop in their area. The team was very excited and inspired to organize a parent-teacher-administrator-student group in their school to see what they could do to make their school safer. They couldn't get the students involved, however, and so have operated all year without any student involvement. They meet every other week at the high school and publicize their meetings in the local newspaper and the PTO newspaper. They've distributed surveys and resource guides with readings about issues effecting gay and lesbian students.

GAY AND LESBIAN PARENT GROUP

A number of communities have groups for gay and lesbian parents. Some have invited speakers from the Safe Schools Program for Gay and Lesbian Students to make presentations about the Board of Education's Recommendations. Some have invited faculty advisors or student liaisons from high school Gay/Straight Alliances to update their groups on the work that is going on in schools and to brainstorm ways that they can get together to make the schools safer for gay and lesbian students and students with gay and lesbian parents.

PARENTS, FAMILIES, AND FRIENDS OF LESBIANS AND GAYS (PFLAG)

The PFLAG mission is "to promote the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons, their families, and friends through: Support, to cope with an adverse society; Education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and Advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights. Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation, and acts to create a society that is healthy, and respectful of human diversity." There are 350 PFLAG chapters across the United States and Canada, and eleven other countries in the world.

In Massachusetts, PFLAG Chapters routinely receive calls from young people. Some are requesting information, others want support and advice about "coming out." Parents, friends and family members of young gays and lesbians also call to learn more about issues related to sexual orientation and how to help these young people. Jean Genasci, the parent of a gay son, and the Northeast Regional Director for PFLAG, said, "In the last nine months, I recorded a total of 590 incoming calls to our home seeking information, support, education, and/or advocacy." The educational portions of PFLAG meetings often focus on the concerns of lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth, and action plans are developed. Currently, PFLAG is working with the Safe Schools Program to outreach to parents, families and school, and to the general community, to facilitate better understanding of the needs of lesbian, gay, and bisexual students and their families.

COMMUNITY BASED, YOUTH-RUN, ADULT-ADVISED SUPPORT GROUPS FOR GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENDER YOUTH (A.G.L.Y.'S)

Alliances of Gay and Lesbian Youth hold meetings for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth 22 years and younger. There are AGLY groups in 11 different areas of Massachusetts so far, and more groups are developing all the time. The AGLY groups sponsor meetings, drop-ins, and services for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth. All AGLY's are different. Some groups are large, some are small. Some address the special needs of rural youth, others focus on urban populations. But all have the same basic objectives:

1) To provide a safe place for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth to get together and socialize with other young people.

2) To address the isolation and invisibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth.

3) To provide educational services. AGLY's educate lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth about health issues, gay and lesbian history and culture. They help students with their educational and professional goals and provide services to get young people back in school or keep them in school.

4) To provide Role-Modeling. The group introduces members to positive role models--adults who are successful and out at their jobs, people with families--to help young people realize that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people can be valuable, important members of society.

5) To empower young people.

Marilyn Cairnes, the advisor of NAGLY (North Shore Alliance of Gay and Lesbian Youth) said, "the services we provide are quite different from the in-school services provided in that our organizations are solely gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender kids. Therefore it is a very, very safe place for kids to identify themselves. It may, perhaps, be a long time before all kids in school feel comfortable identifying themselves [as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender] in a school-based Gay/Straight Alliance...For the most part schools that have alliances still have kids in those alliances who are not out to the members of the alliance or to their school. And that's probably going to continue for long time... They look at [AGLY's] as completely removed from the school setting. We provide different kinds of support. [In AGLY's] you can be as gay as you want to and deal with some issues that you maybe wouldn't talk about with anyone else and [in GSA's] you can feel comfortable in your school setting, you can interact with other kids at your school, and educate other people in your school setting. Both groups are important."

TEN EASY STEPS TO STARTING A GAY/STRAIGHT ALLIANCE IN YOUR SCHOOL

Here's a step-by-step plan for starting a Gay/Straight Alliance in your school:

STEP ONE: FOLLOW GUIDELINES

Establish a Gay/Straight Alliance in the same way as you would establish any other group or club at your school. In your Student Handbook, there should be a section detailing the procedure for forming a club or group at your school. Follow those guidelines. In some schools, this may mean that you have to get written permission from an administrator. In other schools, this may mean that you simply have to put up fliers announcing the first meeting and find a faculty member to act as your group advisor.

STEP TWO: FIND A FACULTY ADVISOR

Some Gay/Straight Alliances have advisors who are teachers, others have faculty advisors who are guidance counselors, nurses or librarians. Just like student members of a group, the faculty advisors don't have to be "out" to be part of the group and many existing groups have straight allies as advisors. How do you pick a faculty advisor? Ask a teacher or staff member whom you think would be receptive.

YOU CAN ENCOURAGE THEM TO JOIN YOUR GROUP BY DOING THE FOLLOWING:

* Explain to them what issues the group might address and why you think the group would be an important addition to your school.

* Offer them a copy of the MA Governor's Commission Report on Gay and Lesbian Youth, this Resource Guide, phone numbers and names of faculty advisors at other schools, and the phone number for the Department of Education Safe Schools Program for Gay and Lesbian Students is (617) 388-3300.

STEP THREE: INFORM ADMINISTRATION OF YOUR PLANS

It is important to immediately inform the administration about your plans to establish a Gay/Straight Alliance. Having an administrator on your side can be very useful, but is not imperative. They can help you to arrange Days of Awareness, speakers for School Assemblies, teacher trainings, etc. They can work as liaisons to the community and school board. Some administrators may be uncomfortable with the formation of this group and you can help them to understand why you want to form a Gay/Straight Alliance by doing the following:

* Offer them a copy of the Governor's Commission Report on Gay and Lesbian Youth.

* Encourage them to speak with other administrators who work at schools that have formed Gay/Straight Alliances.

* Ask if they would like to speak with a representative from the Massachusetts Safe Schools Program for Gay and Lesbian Students.

* Encourage them to speak with PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) members from your town or community.

It is common for administrators to be initially reticent and anxious about the formation of a Gay/Straight Alliance, but it is important to try to educate them. IF THEY REFUSE TO ALLOW YOUR GROUP TO FORM, AND HAVE ALLOWED OTHER SIMILAR CIVIL RIGHTS GROUPS TO FORM, THEY ARE BREAKING THE LAW.

STEP FOUR: INFORM GUIDANCE COUNSELORS AND SOCIAL WORKERS ABOUT GROUP

They may know students who would be interested in attending meetings that you don't know. They may be able to encourage students to attend the group who are dealing with these issues, whether they are questioning their own sexuality, know someone who is gay or lesbian, or are interested in issues affecting gays and lesbians. It can be useful to invite social workers and guidance counselors to come to meetings to help facilitate discussions about difficult issues like "talking to your parents about homosexuality," "coming out to friends and family," "being with a friend or relative who is gay." The meetings may also bring up issues that students will want to discuss in greater detail with a supportive adult.

STEP FIVE: PICK A MEETING PLACE

If possible, find a classroom or spot in your school that is off the beaten track. At first, students may feel a little nervous or uncomfortable about attending a meeting. They may feel worried that others will harass them if they join the group or make assumptions about their sexual orientation. It is important to acknowledge that homophobia is a problem in many schools and that unfortunately being gay or being perceived to be gay or even being a supportive straight ally can put someone at risk for harassment. Try to find a meeting spot that gives members a sense of security and privacy. Some groups meet in rooms that require anyone who's interested in what's happening inside to walk into the room. This makes it impossible for students to hang around outside, spying in on the proceedings. Some groups have to meet off-campus because the fears of homophobic retribution are so great.

Nellie Zupancic, from Newtonville, said that her group meets at lunch time. "Its a good time because most people are around and free then." She also added, "Its a good idea to make it as clear as possible that straight people are also welcome at meetings to reduce the assumptions that are made."

STEP SIX: ADVERTISE

Advertising the formation of the group is one of the first, important steps you can take to fighting homophobia in your school. For some students, seeing the words Gay or Lesbian on a poster can be the first time they feel that there are other people like them in their world. Some of these students may be questioning their own sexual orientation or someone close to them may be gay. These students may never even attend a meeting, but seeing the posters may give them a great deal of comfort knowing that are other people in their school addressing these issues, or that there are other people who feel the same way as they do.

The posters can also spark campus-wide discussions. Traditionally, there has been a great deal of silence around issues of sexual orientation. Fear, ignorance, misinformation can make discussing homosexuality a frightening, even taboo experience. Putting up posters can be the springboard to beginning conversations. The posters may give people a reason to bring up their own feelings, questions, or thoughts about homosexuality. Of course, not all these feelings will be positive or supportive. However, breaking the silence is often the first-step a school takes in educating people about these issues and addressing the myths and the questions people have about homosexuality. The more people talk and the more education your group does, the more likely you will be able to begin to dispel some of the myths and assumptions people carry with them about gays and lesbians.

Don't be discouraged if the posters are defaced or torn down. Almost all groups have had this experience. Keep putting them back up. The longer you persist, the less often they will be defaced. Josh Bennett-Johnson, a student in the Concord-Carlisle alliance known, Spectrum, said that he was "in the lunch room and a guy started taking down one of our posters. We said 'Don't do that. Leave it there.' And he did." Pauline Pease, another student from Spectrum said, "At first the posters were shredded and torn down. But now I haven't seen any ripped down and every time I walk by this one poster I put up months ago, I'm amazed its still there." Noah Rubin, a student from Concord Academy, said that they put up a poster that said "One in Ten People are Gay" and someone came along and scribbled anonymously, "That means 90% of us are normal." The group made an announcement saying that "We cannot even deal with people that don't have the guts to sign their name. No more homophobic graffiti like that has been encountered since."

What to include in your posters:

* Meeting time and location,

* Describe what the group does, what meetings are like, * Highlight that Everyone is Welcome!

* Keep the posters positive.

Donna Georges, from Amesbury High School recommends using "language that is encouraging and supportive."

Brookline High School's Gay/Straight Alliance recommends putting up posters in as many places as possible so if they get torn down, there are still some up. Also, go back and replace the ones that disappear. You might also want to put some posters in a safe place. Boston-Latin used grant money from the Safe Schools Program to buy a glass case that couldn't be broken into. They put posters and announcements about the group in the case. (Please see Gay-Straight Alliance Activities for more poster ideas. )

STEP SEVEN: GET SNACKS

Providing food at your meeting can be a great idea. Food gives people something to do with their hands. It is a good icebreaker. It gives them something they can share with each other. It can give people an excuse to come to meetings: "I was hungry so I just thought I'd stop by and get a handful of chips..."

STEP EIGHT: HOLD YOUR MEETING!

Now that you have a faculty advisor, food, a meeting spot, posters advertising your group, you're ready to actually hold the meeting. Some groups begin with a discussion about why they feel having such a group is important. You may want to play group building exercises or see a movie. (Please see page... for Top 10 Suggestions for Awesome Meetings for additional ideas.)

STEP NINE: ESTABLISH GROUND RULES Some ground rules that other groups have established include:

* No one will make any assumptions about members' sexual orientations.

* Confidentiality will be maintained. It may be hard or impossible to insure that people don't talk about things brought up in the group, but names or identities should never be revealed.

* You must be respectful of each other, but you don't have to be politically correct all the time. Respect each other and realize that everyone is learning about the issue. It's OK to say something that may sound homophobic. Learn why it is problematic.

* Faculty members participate on an equal basis with students. Faculty may help encourage discussion or participation, but they are not there to teach or lead the group. They are there as participants.

STEP TEN: PLAN FOR THE FUTURE

You may want to write out an outline of goals that you would like to work towards for the future. A group in Worcester made a list of Assessment Plans and Action Plans. The former included various ways to assess the climate of their school and determine what work needed to be accomplished in the future. The latter was a list of goals for their future which included going to Pride March and to a movie. (See Gay/Straight Alliances: Out and About for more action plan ideas on page...) The Best Meeting We Ever Had...

TOP TEN IDEAS FOR AWESOME MEETINGS

This Top Ten list was compiled after surveying groups from all across Massachusetts. The following are some of the best suggestions:

1) "THINGS I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW BUT WAS AFRAID TO ASK..."

Newton South has a Question and Answer Day. Students anonymously write down questions on any subject they want and then spend the rest of meetings discussing the questions and coming up with answers.

2) BRING-A-FRIEND DAY

Concord-Carlisle hosts a Bring-A-Friend Day when every member is supposed to bring someone new to their meeting. They said it changed a lot of people's minds about the group and destroyed some of their stereotypes about homosexuality.

3) "NO ADULTS ALLOWED" (OR ONLY ONE)

Some groups have complained that their advisors are too domineering, and having this sort of meeting could be a good change of pace. Tell the adults that only one of them is invited to this special meeting and that they aren't supposed to talk unless absolutely necessary.

4) "WHAT WOULD THE WORLD BE LIKE IF 10% OF PEOPLE WERE STRAIGHT AND 90% WERE GAY?"

Imagine that instead of living in a heterosexist society, you lived in a homosexist society. What would it be like if parents wanted their children to grow up gay? What would it be like if you had to come out as straight?

5) "HOW CAN THE GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE WORK WITH OTHER SCHOOL CIVIL RIGHTS GROUPS?"

Newton South is planning a meeting with other groups to discuss how they can all work together and educate each other to make their school better for everyone.

6) COMING OUT

Some groups have found that coming out discussions are very helpful and important. Plan a meeting where people will talk about how they think people would react, what might happen, how to establish support networks, etc.

7) GAMES

Brookline High School's Gay-Straight Alliance plays a game called Common Ground. The students and faculty advisor stand in a circle. One person begins by saying, "I've got a younger sister," or some other statement that is true for them. Everyone for whom this is also true, steps into the center of the circle. Everyone who doesn't have a younger sister, stays on the outside. You can always lie and choose not to step into the circle. The game often brings up personal and important issues that students may not want to discuss in a more formal setting. Sally Rubin, a Newton student, recommends a game her group calls the "Culture Walk." She said, "There are one or two mediators and they begin by asking a group of people, for example, the women, to move to one side of the room. The guys then ask them questions they've always wanted to know and the women give them answers. Then the women get to tell the guys what they want them to know about them. This game gradually becomes more personal. You don't have to talk or walk."

8) THE THINGS YOU'LL LEARN

Some groups plan meetings where one student researches a topic related to gay and lesbian life, culture, history, oppression, etc. and then reports to the rest of the group what they've discovered. Topics don't have to be dry and boring. They could include: Rock Stars Come Out, The Stonewall Riots, Bisexuality: The Conflict within the Movement, What the Heck is Transgender Anyhow?, etc. Other groups pick current events from the newspaper, such as Gays in the Military and discuss how they feel about these issues.

9) WORKING FOR CHANGE

Most groups have spent at least some meeting time working to institute change in their schools or communities. Some have written editorials for their school papers describing the work of their group, their plans for the future, what they'd like to see change in their school, how to combat anti-gay prejudice, etc. Other groups have detailed instances of homophobia on campus including the defacing of GSA posters, anti-gay slurs or remarks they've heard, etc. and then distributed them to students, teachers, administrators and school board members. Groups have written editorials for their school newspapers,