You are here
February 15, 2018
Many teenagers feel pressured to have some sort of romantic relationship around Valentine’s Day. We see posts on social media like “My boyfriend got me this!” “My partner got me that!” and many, including myself, will retweet or comment “goals” on those posts without thinking. GLSEN’s National Student Council partnered with Hollister to show different types of relationships to deconstruct what love and relationships look like around the holiday using #carpeloveHCO. Student Council members shared pictures with their dogs, best friends, family, and significant others tto show that there is not just one way to show love and it can manifest in many different forms.. There is not just one way to show love. One council member took a picture with their gecko! Check out the National Student Council’s pictures below with their loved ones or scroll through GLSEN's Instagram. Carpe amor. Seize love every day! -Sayer (National Student Council)
There’s a quote, I’m not sure who said it, but it’s, “Distance means so little when someone means so much.” I can’t tell you enough how true that is not only in relation to distance but time as well. I went 913 days, almost 2 and a half years, without seeing @chocogosto, in that time, there were months on end when Carly and I didn’t speak, but each time we reconnected, nothing had changed. The last time I saw her, we left camp with promises of talking, staying connected and meeting up through the year. Promises of staying in each other’s lives, being there for each other, making sure the other is okay. We have more or less kept those promises, more so recently, but there was one that we struggled to keep. It took us 913 days to meet up, we are separated by 3 hours and it took us almost 2 and a half years for us to see each other again. That’s what these pictures are, these pictures show the reunion of two best friends who act like lovers but I can promise you, there’s nothing going on there. These pictures show the reunion of two best friends who need each other. Everyone should have someone in their life with whom they can talk about anything, everything, or nothing at all. I’ve found that. I love you Carl. #carpelovehco
I met KP 4 years ago when I transferred to their school. We didn’t interact often until a year later when they encouraged me to join our school’s GSA. As a closeted 9th grader, I was reluctant, but KP convinced me to come to one meeting at the end of the year. I finally joined in 10th grade, even though I was still learning to accept my queer identity. This ended up being one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, as my GSA helped me survive an incredibly rough year. I finished 10th grade doing three things I never imagined myself doing: becoming my GSA's co-head, coming out to my parents, and joining GLSEN’s National Student Council. KP was the first person I came out to after all of this happened, and they were one of the few people in my life who immediately accepted me. This led us to bond with each other and become closer, and eventually start dating. I’m incredibly grateful for the support KP has provided me all these years, and I’m so lucky to have them by my side.
I have been dealing with various mental health issues for a while. Shocking, I know. A queer AP student? Mental illness? It was basically a match made in heaven. Yet everyday I still have something to look forward to: Spending time with my girlfriend and friends. They have pulled me through so many hard times, and I can't explain how important they are to me. My girlfriend really is my other half, and my friends feel more like soulmates than people I simply like to talk to. They are love to me. #carpelovehco
Emily and I met three years ago at sleepaway camp. From the moment we met I knew we would be inseparable. Every summer we would reunite at camp and would spend the summer hiking, zip lining, or just laughing and smiling around the fire. Now that she has gone off to college, I count the days to when she returns home so we can reunite. We always pick up from where we left off, giggling, and embracing. She has always been there for me, on days when I felt alone, or on memorable life events. In the future, I know that no matter where we both go in life, she will always just be one phone call or text away. #CarpeLoveHCo
When I came out as transgender, I thought my relationship with my little brother would change. I was afraid that because I was different, he would be uncomfortable with me. Instead he embraced me for who I am, and we have become even closer since. Just like we always have, we spend time together laughing and joking on our porch and in the backyard. We #CarpeLoveHCo by celebrating our differences and building on our similarities.
When considering the idea of love, I immediate think of two people: my best friend and my partner. They've both, in different ways, expanded my definitions of love, trust, and companionship. For me, this past year has been a series of ups and downs that have changed the way I see and navigate the world and I wouldn't have wanted to experience this era of my life with any two other people. Moving past high school, these two people are the ones I want in my life for the long haul to keep me honest, happy, and bright.
I show my #Carpe love by spending time with those who are there for me in the best and worst of time. My friends who are there to support me at school and my dog who loves me at home.
Warm company, cold weather. it’s very important to spend time with the people you love, even if it’s just having a chat and looking at memes! which is why i’m carpe-ing my diem by looking at dog pictures with my best friend (because how else should you spend your time)??
So a gay chicanx and a pit bull? stereotypical right? maybe so, i mean we’re two broad-shouldered, stern, aggressive and intimidating looking individuals that were only ever given a bad wrap were really just two individuals that were labeled who had needed a pal and were misunderstood. on july twenty-eighth, two-thousand sixteen, a three-year-old rescue pit bull with separation anxiety, raised and trained as a fighting dog, you couldn’t ever tell by the smile.
i didn't just adopt “that rescue pit bull”, i adopted my buddy/pal, caesar. the details from all different kinds of relationships are what make the bond. you may never know love though until you stand outside with twenty-degree weather in boxers and a t-shirt, just to see and make sure someone is okay after they run into the steps, then the wall, then the door, you get the point right? #CarpeLoveHCo
I found my home not in the sense of a house, but in those who I love #Carpelovehco
Love and relationships develop in so many different ways past the confines of what society tells us that they should be. We hope that you’re able to show the ways that you display your love and build relationships with those that support you to be your full authentic self.
Sayer, Sarah, Marcus, Danny, James, Ose, Soli, Imani, Mari, and Marisa are members of GLSEN's National Student Council.
February 14, 2018
Growing up in school in South Carolina was so isolating. All of my friends would talk about having sex, and I would tell lies about how much fun I had with a made-up girl.
Attending health class was hard for me as a gay high school student in 2015. I was always taught about heterosexual relatonships: that only a man and a woman can reproduce, and what sex was like between them. (Of course, they were only talking about cisgender men and women, as transgender people were never acknowledged, and lesbian, gay, and bisexual people were also not even spoken of.)
I was always left wondering what was being left out. As an LGBTQ student advocate, who has done his own research, I now know one possible reason why I didn’t learn more about people like me and relationships like mine: In South Carolina, it’s illegal to teach about homosexuality in health class.
According to a South Carolina law, health education “may not include a discussion of alternate sexual lifestyles from heterosexual relationships including, but not limited to, homosexual relationships, except in the context of instruction concerning sexually transmitted diseases.” And recent GLSEN research shows that laws like these, known as “no promo homo” laws, hurt LGBTQ students. Not only do they leave LGBTQ students without critical information about their health, but they also make it more difficult for educators to show support for their LGBTQ students.
Althought this law focuses only on health education, it’s often generalized to other subjects in school. Not surprisingly, I didn’t learn about LGBTQ topics in any class at all.
I had no one, and I felt so stressed. I would never ask teachers the questions I had because I didn’t think they had the answers. I had to do a lot of self-teaching and finding information just to protect myself.
I’ve graduated now, but this law still affects over 700,000 public school students in South Carolina, and six similar laws in Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi affect another nearly 9 million. If you live in one of these states, I strongly urge you to send a letter to your state representative to ask for a repeal. No one deserves to feel so alone.
TJ Mitchell is a former member of GLSEN’s National Student Council.
February 14, 2018
You may have heard about the Department of Education Office for Civil Rights’ decision on February 12, 2018 to no longer investigate or take action on any complaints of discrimination against transgender students' use of restroom and locker facilities.
While this is yet another blow from an unsupportive administration, it’s important for everyone, especially those of you that are trans and gender nonconforming (GNC), to know that you still have rights in school.
Here are six things that you can do:
- Breathe. Know that we’re still with you. You still have rights as trans students, and we are here to make sure that they are enforced. Title IX has been around through many administrations and will continue to exist.
- Ask for your school to make visible their commitment to LGBQ and specifically trans and GNC students. They can put up a Safe Space Sticker or Poster, or a "Trans Students, You Are Loved" sign.
- Those of you that want to take action in allyship, check in with your trans and GNC friends, assure them that they still have the right to a safe and supportive learning environment. You can check out this Know Your Rights resource together.
- Find out about the policies your school has to protect LGBTQ students. Text TRANS to 21333 to find out about laws in your state.
- Work with your GSA to ask your school administration to ensure that you have trans-inclusive nondiscrimination policies. Use GLSEN’s Trans Model Policy for guidance.
- Take action with educators, students, and community members across the country by asking your U.S. Senators to hold the current nominee for the Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights, Ken Marcus, accountable to trans students. Ken Marcus has not made clear his stance on protecting trans students, and your Senators can impact his legacy.
Although it may seem scary, overwhelming, and frustrating to continually hear that this administration does not demand your protection, the law is the law, and you are still protected. Know that there are those that are still fighting for your rights. GLSEN is here to provide resources and support. Please let us know what you need as you are working on being your beautiful, valid selves and supporting other students around you.
Tate Benson is GLSEN's Youth Programs Associate.
February 13, 2018
You may have heard about the Department of Education Office for Civil Rights’ decision on February 12, 2018 to no longer investigate or take action on any complaints of discrimination against transgender students’ use of restroom and locker facilities. While this is yet another blow from an unsupportive administration, it’s important for everyone, especially for LGBTQ-supportive educators, to know that trans students still have rights in schools.
Your actions count! Here are 5 things educators can do to affirm trans youth:
- Make visible your commitment to LGBQ and trans and gender nonconforming students. Put up a Safe Space Sticker or Poster, or a "Trans Students, You Are Loved" sign.
- Check in with your students, especially your GSA or out LGBTQ students, to assure them that they still have the right to a safe and supportive learning environment. Help students to find out more at www.glsen.org/knowyourrights.
- Find out what policies your school has to protect LGBTQ students. Text TRANS to 21333 to find out about the laws in your state.
- Work with the administrative leaders in your school and district to ensure you have trans-inclusive nondiscrimination policies. Use GLSEN’s Trans Model Policy for guidance.
- Take action with educators, students, and community members across the country by asking your U.S. Senators to hold the current nominee for the Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights, Ken Marcus, accountable to trans students. Ken Marcus has not made clear his stance on protecting trans students, and your Senators can impact his legacy.
While the disappointment and frustration of an administration that continually turns its back on trans youth is palpable, at times like this, know that your students are looking to you for support and guidance. GLSEN is here to provide resources and support, but it is up to you to help your trans and gender nonconforming students know that they are welcomed and loved at school.
Becca Mui is GLSEN's Education Manager.
February 07, 2018
For No Name-Calling Week 2018, we encouraged students and educators across the country to create artwork using the theme of #KindessInAction in K-12 schools, because artwork has the power to change school climates for the better. Below are some of the best submissions we received. Make sure to also watch our No Name-Calling Week Open Mic featuring poetry about putting #KindnessInAction by queer and trans students of color!
Darby Christensen, Olathe Northwest High School
Brittany Ahn, Johns Creek High School
How does this submission show #KindnessInAction in schools? This self-portrait is a tribute to my first grade teacher. She helped me with my speech, from sounding out words to being my inspiration today and even just a few weeks ago to calm my nerves before public speaking at a Turner Broadcasting corporate event for a mass media conference. She's my inspiration for having come out as bisexual and accept myself in all aspects, from my strengths to my flaws.
Whitney HS East
How does this submission show #KindnessInAction in schools? We are a small special education program. My students generated the hands of kindness to create a wreath. We distributed them to 140-150 students.
Adrian Adamek, Brookings Harbor High School
How does this submission show #KindnessInAction in schools? It represents a girl inspired by my sister spreading kindness in the form of dandelion fluffs. Spreading compliments.
Gabrielle Hodges, Brookings Harbor High School
Lawton C. Johnson Summit Middle School GLOW Club
How does this submission show #KindnessInAction in schools? This submission showcases the artwork our GLOW (Gay Lesbian or Whomever) club students created for No Name-Calling Week. It was on display in our library along with a variety of LGBTQ-themed books.
January 23, 2018
From a very young age, we are told to be ourselves and that it is okay to be “a little different.” Although we start out learning to be kind to everyone, the way we exclude groups from the conversation enforces the idea that we don’t need to continue that as we get older.
As you grow a bit older, you are exposed to more of others’ views and opinions, mainstream media, and societal norms. Slowly, it is put into your mind that you should not be nice to specific groups of people, whether because of their race, class, sexual orientation, or other facets of their identity.
When it comes to gender specifically, we are taught that there are only two: boys and girls, closed boxes that many are afraid to open. You aren’t taught outside the binary; you learn that “he” and “she” are the only gender pronouns. You don’t learn about “they,” “them,” and “theirs” – the pronouns I identity with as an agender person, or someone who does not identify as any particular gender. We also aren’t taught about “zie,” “zir,” “zirs,” or “xie,” “xir,” or “xirs.” In other words, we’re taught that non-binary folks like me don’t even exist.
But what if schools taught differently?
What if we were taught not to assume identities right from the start? What if at school we learned all about the terms people use to describe their identities? Taught to build relationships so that we can learn each other’s differences and what people need for support? Children are more open to new ideas than anyone, and if students are taught to treat others with respect, students will be less likely to feel invalid or stuck.
The starting point? Taking action. I suggest you use resources at school like GLSEN’s new lesson plans on self-identification and gender stereotypes. Use GLSEN’s pronoun resource. Wear pronoun buttons.
Unlearning stereotypes and unboxing labels requires my allies to listen first instead of stepping in. When warranted, they can also help at events and rallies. If you have the privilege of comfort and safety, support others that might not. It’s great to hear that I have your support, but it’s time for everyone to show it.
Recently it was GLSEN’s No Name Calling Week, and the theme was #KindnessInAction. To me, that means no matter what your identities are, you have to take action to try to support one another. The next step is action.
Con mucho amor,
Cruz Contreras is a member of GLSEN’s National Student Council.
January 19, 2018
Gay. Sapphic. Female. Queer. These are ways that I identify myself as a woman in high school. As an individual, you are the expert on how you identify. No one else can force you to identify as X or Y unless you say that you identify with identity X or Y.
Language and the way that people identify continues to change in the LGBTQ community. My great uncles are from the era of Stonewall. During their time, “queer” was used as a slur much like “faggot” and “dyke” are used today. In a school project a couple years ago, I used “queer” as an umbrella term for all non-heterosexual orientations, and my uncle’s response was, “I wish teens would stop using the word ‘queer.’ It implies that they are strange and weird, but they’re not! They’re perfectly normal!” While I understand his reasoning, I also understand that teens are in search of a term that they can use when still exploring their identity, or if they don’t want to identify with one specific label.
I asked a few of my peers how they identify and whether any of their identities are considered controversial to either older or younger generations. And I wasn’t surprised by the answers I received: All of them said that at least one part of their identity was considered controversial.
One friend identifies as gender non-conforming, non-binary, and sexually fluid, and she said that both her gender and her sexuality are considered controversial. She will usually say she is gay, because that’s a label that she identifies with, though her attractions may fluctuate. Because of this fluctuation, people tell her that she just can’t make up her mind. In terms of her gender identity, people often dismiss her gender non-conforming and non-binary identities because she uses she/her pronouns, causing her problems with her self-esteem.
Another friend identifies as female and is currently rethinking her previous label for her sexual orientation. She used to identify as a gay but after some consideration, she thinks that she may be bisexual. When she came out as gay, everyone was happy to stick her in a box as that identity. Since she has been considering identifying as a bi girl, she has noticed a larger stigma around bi girls than gay girls coming from younger generations.
The last person I spoke to identifies as a bisexual female. When asked if her identity was seen as controversial, she said that even some millennials say bisexual females are just “seeking attention,” and that older generations often say that “homosexuality is unnatural.” She told me that these types of comments don’t just show up online; she’s been told them to her face.
Needless to say, even if others say our identities are “controversial,” that isn’t going to change our identities. My friends feel empowered and validated by how they identify. Language is forever developing to fit how people identify within the queer community and we should make room for the changes. For me? I am a gay, sapphic, loving, compassionate femme. Those are my identities, end of story.
January 18, 2018
For many people, especially LGBTQ young people, the holidays are a tough time, when you often feel alone or neglected. This year was no different. My family and I did not do much to celebrate the holidays; we stayed home and basically watched movies most of time.
This year felt especially lonely because I had no one to talk to or anyone to give great big hugs to. I was looking for someone to call me, for someone to stop by with a card, or at least a reminder that I was thought of, but nothing came.
When the holidays ended and school came back in session, I sat back at home to do my homework. My phone dinged, and a message popped up: “Someone who cares about you wants to send you an anonymous message of kindness.” I sat up in my chair, and I wondered what the message would be. The next thing I knew, the message came in, and it said, “You are loved!”
In that moment I sat there staring at my phone smiling, realizing that people did care. On most days, a message like this would have made me smile just for a moment, and then I would’ve just carried on. But not that day. Instead, the message stuck in my mind for the whole week, giving me a new sense of empowerment and love.
All people, especially marginalized folks, deserve someone to let them know that they matter. Your existence is enough, and you should keep on living and thriving. That’s what that text reaffirmed for me.
Messages like this are one step in showing someone that their existence matters to you. It’s an actionable way to give someone you care about an affirmation and put #KindnessInaction. This week is GLSEN’s No Name Calling Week, where thousands of students and educators will put #KindnessInAction further, to create a foundation where people are respected and called the things they would like to be called. Where people are affirmed in their identities constantly. Where we build up a support system around students in school so that they feel less alone.
At the end of the day, I passed on the text to a close friend of mine who I hadn’t reached out to in a while, because I knew in my head that it would make her smile and help her realize that people do care, even when it may not seem that way.
I encourage you to send an anonymous message of kindness to someone, or put #KindnessInAction in your own way this No Name-Calling Week and beyond.
Danny Charney is a member of GLSEN’s National Student Council. Want to send your own anonymous message of kindness? Text KIND to 21333 or visit glsen.org/kindness.
January 18, 2018
For No Name-Calling Week, queer and trans students of color shared their poetry and spoken word pieces about putting #KindnessInAction during GLSEN's first-ever open mic. In case you missed it, you can view a recording of the event and the poems transcribed below!
And don't forget to submit your poetry and art to GLSEN's Creative Expressions Exhibit!
Clara Horton (they/she)
My poem speaks to #KindnessInAction because it shows how hard it is to be queer and just a teen in a school environment and how just small actions can change this.
Who am I?
I ask myself that at least once a day
Sometimes more than that
I don’t have a solid answer to that
It's rather funny
I’ve been here for my entire life
I don’t know who I am
To be honest, I’m a ball of contradictions wrapped in a facade of happiness and smiles
I’m black but not that black
I love musicals and rock and roll
I’m 16 going on 40 going on 5
I can speak confidently and come off as happy when inside I'm confused and suffocating
I know what some people think I am
I know what I think of myself, yet I don’t trust my own opinion since my self-worth has been shaped and warped by others
You know I’ve been told so many things about myself
It's hard to choose what's right and what's not
People tell me that everyone likes me yet I tell myself that I’m alone
People that I’m incredibly smart, but I often feel lost, confused, and stupid
People say that I’m okay looking, but I would be so beautiful if only I grew out my hair, but my hair is one of the few things I like about myself
What I do know is that I like everyone else struggle
I struggle every day
I strive to let myself out
To not just come out of the closet but to also share who I am
To honestly be who I am and not be scared
Sometimes it's easier to hide than to be hurt
Sometimes the idea that someone would turn away from you because you showed your true colors keeps me up at night
I often hide behind smiles and treats
I’ll make jokes that are just a bit to true about me
Or make everyone cupcakes instead of crying
I’ll send people memes and retweet puppy photos instead of wondering if everyone secretly hates me but talks to me out of pity
I’ll bake treats and buy everyone doughnuts because all I want is for them to like me
Sometimes it even feels like I’m invisible
People make jokes, and my flinches are invisible
I try to stand up and say something, but I’m invisible
I see my friends at parties but to them in invisible
I hold back tears as people talk over me, through me because they can’t hear me I’m invisible
It doesn't help that I blend into the background
People like me when I'm here
But forget about me when I'm not
People never invite me to parties
No one has ever asked me on a date
While a voice in my head tells me that it shouldn't matter... It does
I'm slowly finding a voice, my voice
I've joined speech and GSA
I’ve learned so much about who I am
I like sourdough doughnuts
I enjoy science and space
I can be brash and loud
I can be calm and logical
I understand the pain of others because I’ve been through it myself
I know that sometimes all you need is one person, one teacher to just catch a glance at who you are, one person who tries to break down your walls and push you to be the best that you can be and you’ll start to change
And I'm beginning to be noticed
But that's almost as scary
I don't know who I am
I don't know who I want to be
I have to share who I am with the world
What if I get it wrong
What if someone doesn't like me
What if no one likes me
But I'm trying to figure things out
Figure me out
I'm breaking down my walls and trying to speak the truth
My truth and it's a little less scary knowing that GSA is behind me
Knowing that every second and third tuesday I’ll have a group of people who understand
Knowing that as I walk through the hallways there's someone there who has my back
Someone who knows that I’m a rocker and a nerd
Someone who knows that I struggle everyday to get out of bed
Someone who will text me over a holiday to make sure that I’m ok
Knowing that I have a few teachers who know my struggles and try to help as much as they can
Knowing that I have a teacher who will convince me to write and perform for a GLSEN competition
Just having someone send me a smile in the hallway helps me take the day one step at time
Just a quick hello as we pass lets me know i'm not totally invisible
Just a invite to sit with someone at lunch makes me feel less alone
One small action can make someone's day
You might not know it
They may never tell you
But one small smile can save a life
Soli Guzman (any pronouns)
My poem speaks to #KindnessInAction because kindness and compliments can be interpreted in many ways. Sometimes those remarks can hurt more than they are supposed to make one feel good. Sometimes the best form of kindness can be knowing how someone feels.
First day of sophomore year I hear a voice I did not know,
She says “I love your skin, I wish I had your tan”,
A complement that can be perceived completely different if she was in my shoes.
As a young queer brown person, I see it as compliment but maybe a joke too,
You see she didn’t know what my skin means to me,
How I see my beautiful golden brown in the summer to the Light brown I face to in winter.
She didn’t know how much pain and beauty I see in my skin,
She doesn’t see the power it holds,
My painfully beautiful brown skin.
She tells me she wants my skin, my “tan”,
But she doesn’t know what comes with my skin,
The overarching history it has.
My skin comes from my grandfather side,
My skin came from Torreón, Mexico,
Where my grandpa was born.
My skin came from a hard working man who worked the fields,
Before him my skin came from native Americans,
And that skin was passed onto my mother.
My skin has such beautiful rich history that can be rolled by so much pain,
Little did she know that my skin caused years of torment to my family,
How my mother got called at by white men in a pick up “go home rosarita beaner”,
To my grandfather who got held behind class by the principle for speaking Spanish because he should speak the language of the country,
And to my great grandfather who got murdered by the hand of a white man and He never got justice.
Yet through this pain my skin has so much beauty,
How it changes shades through the seasons like the sunsets,
how after a day in the sun, my skin has tanned red,
How I wear orange and red and I shine.
My skin shows has the power my mom has when she went to law school,
The same fight that my grandfather had in the marines and when he created his own company,
And the same dream my great grandfather had when he came to America to change the life of his children and wife.
To the girl who complimented me,
your act of kindness can be interpreted in many ways,
for me I wish you could have see the inner me.
I wish you could have complimented me on how I am instead of who I am,
Complemented my love for stem and my knowledge,
Instead of what’s on the surface such as my skin or wavy hair
because those have special history as to who I am and who I will become
Mari Contreras (They/Them)
My poems speak to #KindnessInAction because it’s important to show the background of what the names you give someone are, and to acknowledge that. Giving names that we don’t give consent to being called takes away the things we want to be called. Before taking away my identity, take away building a bond with me. Before you do that, know me and know not to assume.
it’s a four-letter word that i get a lot,
my clothes mostly dark against my tone
my hair only a bit lighter than my shoe soles
this dark purplish color indented to my face
under my eyes a light reflection of its color
my face low
hands, cracked and bruised
and the rest of me too
so why am i “pale”?
it is the result of a Latinx student, worker, and peer
the sole of my shoes and sleeve for covering tattoos matches with a work uniform
black shoes, black work pants, black work jacket, black collared-shirt
a strict uniform
under eyes became so indented and dark due to the time of rising
met with the late night with no sleep
seasonal weather jumps around
still have to be marked for attendance, no matter if tired or late
must skip sleep
writing on paper, sketching with a pen, fixing something that’s broken
my hands no longer heal fully
the rest exactly the same
a different color very long ago
drained and faded,
staying up writing essays or assisting a friend
for me to continue my education, late night essays for grants and scholarships
assignments and instructional i take and complete
meetings i attend consistently
the call-in shift i get on the phone during a day off or after school
when is there sleep
a stereotype that someone should look a way to be who they are
listening to a question, one we all hear.
white-passing and that is a privilege, that doesn’t stop the other stereotypes consistently called upon for being Latinx. To take away identity by saying you do not look Latinx is only being put into a stereotype, already faced with many.
working to a point of drained discoloration and dropped looks,
because a minority, because of the environment around, because of low-income, because of the stereotypes pushed upon us
the future wanted is less likely to have.
for that, i am pale because i am Latinx.
not your average gay
We’re not all muscular
We’re not all slim
We’re not all tall
We’re not all short
We’re not all feminine
We’re not all masculine
We’re not all one same hair color
We’re not all one same eye color
We’re not all one same age
We’re not all one same race
We’re not all from once same place
We’re not all a certain gender
We’re not all friendly and are not all nice
We’re not all accepting of our own community, which is definitely not alright
We’re not all quiet
We’re not all loud
We’re not all always excited
We’re not all dramatic
We’re not all one profession
We’re not all open to suggestions, and sure as hell not all into one same fetish
We’re not all your average typical gay, whatever that may mean
Whether you expected a gay guy best friend wearing khakis and a turtleneck, or a gay girl best friend who wants to always be more than friends
We’re sometimes blunt and will tell you what we think
I know i do and will tell you how it is
None of us are your stereotypes, we’re simply not the same
But we all do share one thing in common, and it’s probably something you wouldn’t expect
That we are definitely all gay, and that’s point blank
Sarah Bunn (She/Her)
My poem speaks to #KindnessInAction because growing up, I found that in Asian spaces, I was silenced because of my LGBTQ identity and because I wasn’t considered “Asian enough.” But in LGBTQ spaces, I would be silenced because of my Asian identity. These poems focus on my frustrations about being silenced and perceived by others in a manner that disrespects these two aspects of my identity. It’s so important that we respect every part of others’ identities, and understand that people are so much more than their identity.
variation [fake asian]
the name i carry on my hands is not my own
rather a third variation of a name i will never know
it is merely the creation of my father who wanted his name
to roll right in the mouths of those who didn’t understand
rather than clumsily spill from their mouths and drip to the ground
forgotten and disregarded
my mother’s fear that it wasn’t enough
because her devotion to her last name
made her the sun, searing the pure white clouds among her
they wanted to drown the fire that raged within her
until the last spark from her would die out
and make her cold and complacent like them
so my parents, with love, bleached my name
until the dirt washed out and the water ran clear
was this ambiguity worth the cost?
when my skin and eyes still betray my name
when the words that tumble from between my lips
smell like lemongrass and stain like turmeric and prahok
when a white man sneers at you and asks if you can understand
but his language is the only you understand
and your relatives hiss in a tongue that you’ll never taste
because your parents didn’t want its spice tainting your words
did the love of my parents do any good?
was this false sense of security worth the blood under my skin?
did my parents make me like those around them?
scornful and bitter because i have nothing to claim
but i am lost and I cannot be sure anymore
whether my mother’s fire continues to burn within me
when the one thing that should have been mine
was taken away by the people who love me
they ask me why this red buddhist string winds around my wrist
and pretend to care about what it means to me
as their silver scissors snip it to tie around their own
the red striking their pure white skin in a way
that i almost envy while my yellow-tinted skin is an envy for them
those like me spit in disgust at me, their pale skin a testament
to my inferiority for allowing the sun to brown my skin
i am pale now, not because i wish to be but because it's how i must be,
but they still pinch my skin and tell me to bleach out the rays of sun
i remember when i first hated this heirloom of mine
when a boy made a joke, making fun of the asian accent
Slurring his r’s into l’s, shrilly mangling words into slices
the very one inflected in my parents’ tone, in my tone
his gaze happened to catch onto mine, but i said nothing
he was wrong and nothing happened to him
The heirloom, a burden i bear on my back and breath
My teeth rubbed yellow from asian tea leaves
And bits of sand underneath my nails because
When the devil sees a pile of sand he must sit and count
Every grain of sand until dawn rises and he disintegrates
And to them i am the antichrist, dirty and wary of their light
I am the force that reckons their way of life
With my slit eyes and split tongue that balances
Mispronounced English and mumbled Khmer in the same second
My mother with her goddamn 3rd grade education
Who was determined to graduate with a degree
And have a home because hers was stolen away
My father, who brought every one of his sisters and their children
To America and into his home so they could have the chance
This is the story carved into the lines of my skin and the swirls of hair on my head
And you dare to tell me that the soil of America
Has rinsed my skin into whiteness
That i am consumed by a culture that isn’t mine
Which i fetishize and perpetuate because i am ashamed
This shame isn’t mine but the one you wish for me to feel
So you can steal it away like they stole my blood and history
So you can twist it like they twisted my words
So you can hide your wrongdoings in the decencies of mine
Because to you, my heirloom is merely a mask
But for me, it’s the very color of my flesh
Yellow and browned
Just how i choose
Larissa Izaguirre (She/Her)
My poem touches upon the detrimental effect of negative language on others. This speaks to #KindnessInAction because it illustrates how impactful language can be and especially how harmful.
Sticks and Stones
Words have power.
As the phonetics of a phrase slide through your teeth
Stop and think
About what you are about to release into the universe.
Your words dance amongst the stars and rain down upon those around you,
For better or for worse.
The first time a boy hurt me with his words I was five years old.
In the midst of a trivial disagreement he suddenly turned his attention towards me and very calmly said:
“Why don’t you go back and cry to your mom in the fields.”
I now understand what he was trying to say, but at the time I had no clue.
That night I asked my sister what the boy meant by what he said.
She then explained to me what prejudice was and how it affected me.
I was five years old.
I could barely read, yet I had to carry the struggles of my ancestors on my tiny shoulders.
I doubt that the boy understood what he was saying or even how hurtful it was but
that’s the beauty of words.
It is so easy,
easy to open your mouth and change someone’s life.
I hear it daily;
Derogatory terms flying about the hallways like grenades on a battlefield.
Their words pierce my eardrum like the booming of a bomb.
A boy is messing around with his friend and
The R word explodes through the classroom.
A girl gets her hair cut a little shorter and
“Dyke” flies under a desk.
Someone’s accent peaks through while reading aloud in class and
“Spic” splatters across the ceiling.
They may be “just words” but their letters are strung together by hate.
These words have a lengthy history of tearing down people for reasons out of their control.
These words were created to hurt,
to sting when they are spit in your face.
When people say to “Go back home!”
Do they realize that they are the one invading my home with the butt of their voice?
When they shout “terrorist” at the young Muslim girl do they realize that they are the one terrorizing her?
When you say “I don’t see color” do you realize that you are invalidating the issues facing black and brown people and whiting out our struggle?
And please; if you are not black you can not say the n-word.
I do not care how urban you think you are.
That is not your history.
That is not your struggle.
That is not your liberty.
So watch your damn mouth.
January 10, 2018
A student’s opportunity for camaraderie and community in school shouldn’t depend on where they live. Yet, that seems to be the case for many LGBTQ students across the country.
GSAs – also known as Gay-Straight Alliances or Gender-Sexuality Alliances – are student-led clubs whose members explicitly address LGBTQ topics. In doing so, these clubs raise awareness of diverse sexual and gender identities at school, and can have an impact on overall school climate through education and advocacy efforts. They also help LGBTQ students to meet, support, and affirm one another.
Unfortunately, according to the most recent School Health Profiles (SHP) report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), many LGBTQ students are left without access to this critical support. In fact, the SHP data, as reported by school principals, indicate that the distribution of GSAs across the country is far from uniform.
GSAs and similar clubs are least common in the South and Midwest. For example, you’ll find them in fewer than 1 in 10 secondary schools (9.3%) in South Dakota, and only 1 in 7 (13.9%) secondary schools in Arkansas. You’re far more likely to find an LGBTQ student club in the Northeast or West. In Massachusetts, these groups are in 6 in 10 secondary schools (60.5%). And, when looking across the U.S. as a whole, CDC data indicate that schools commonly lack a GSA. In fact, besides Massachusetts, there are only 2 other states (Connecticut and New York) in which a majority of secondary schools have any GSA or similar club.
These results corroborate some of GLSEN’s National School Climate Survey (NSCS) findings, in which we found similar patterns of GSA availability, as reported by LGBTQ students. For example, we also found GSAs to be less common in the South and the Midwest. Our data also indicated that LGBTQ students in the South and Midwest were less likely to have LGBTQ-supportive staff and administration in school. These lower levels of institutional support could contribute to the scarcity of GSAs in these areas. It may be tough for students to start an LGBTQ student club if a school’s staff and administration have given no indication that they will be receptive to the idea.
This is troubling, because NSCS data link GSAs to fewer instances of anti-LGBT remarks and a stronger sense of school community for LGBTQ students. Our From Teasing to Torment report on school climate also noted a connection between GSAs and greater feelings of school safety for both LGBTQ and non-LGBTQ students alike.
For those working at a school that does not yet have a GSA, it can be crucial to demonstrate to students that they will have your support if they want to form a club. For school staff, this may mean advertising your classroom or office as a Safe Space or offering to be a GSA advisor. For school administration specifically, this may mean introducing supportive policies to your school or district.
Ultimately, however, GSAs are created and led by students. For those ready to take on that task? GLSEN has your back!
For students seeking institutional support for their GSA, check out our guide to meeting with decision makers. For step-by-step help in forming your GSA, check out our Jump Start guide, then browse our growing library of GSA resources to help to keep your club a success. Finally, be sure to stay in the loop, and always have the latest resources on hand, by registering your GSA with us.
So, where does your state stack up? Look up how common GSAs are in your state with the map below, or check out the full SHP 2016 report to read more about GSAs as well as other LGBTQ school resources.
Though they are relatively scarce, our own research has uncovered a promising trend regarding GSAs: their numbers are growing. And, with some help from the resources listed above, you can foster that growth by taking action in your local community, regardless of where you live.
Adrian Zongrone, MPH is a Research Associate at GLSEN.