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November 14, 2018
It's a typical Wednesday afternoon on the playground, but in the minds of my 5-year-old students it’s a zombie obstacle course, an Olympic monkey bar competition, or a restorative circle of tears and reconciliation. One such 5-year-old, so distracted by my presence, takes a break in their play to ask, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I promptly answer, "Both and sometimes neither." To this they look at me with a delicate grin and animated bob of their head. Responding with “Okay, me too sometimes,” as they zombie walk away. As a non-binary trans educator, this is a daily occurrence, a daily “coming out,” a daily playful teaching moment in between literacy and personal space lessons, and an ongoing conversation.
This child’s response is not exclusive to this school nor to my experiences as a teacher. I have heard it echoed by numerous queer, GNC and trans educators. I have experienced this in public and private schools, with mixed responses from co-workers and administration. The ease of this experience can be attributed to three factors: 1) the openness and comfort with which preschool-age and kindergarten-age children engage in conversations about gender, 2) the trans-affirming public school where I work and 3) the privilege I have to be out in my workplace. The latter factors are not mutually exclusive but the first always stands. Children in preschool and early elementary grades are not limited by commitments to prejudice and bias-- they want to learn the languages of identity, they want to hear queer stories, they want to know all the possibilities.
When I first developed the self-awareness and vocabulary to appreciate my trans identity, I would never have imagined I would feel so at ease teaching 5-year-old children gender-neutral pronouns, let alone be out at work. Early in my career I realized that my professional and personal identities are inseparable. Avoiding the endless questions from students about my gender and expression was not only causing me excessive anxiety, but also giving them a dishonest representation of the world, relationships and who can be a teacher. It wasn’t until five years into my career as an educator that I requested support from my school to be out as nonbinary and transgender. While this wasn’t always greeted with love and understanding from the adults in my workplace, hearing four and five-year-old students respond with “That’s cool!” “Me too!” and “I want to be called ‘she’ now” are well worth the tears and frustration caused by transphobia in the workplace.
“Are you a boy or a girl?” “Why you got hair on your legs?” “You like flowers and pink too?” “You sound like a boy.” “Do you like Elsa?” “You’re both, so do you get to use both bathrooms?” I started seeing these endless questions and comments directed at my gender identity as invitations to teaching moments. These preschoolers weren’t baiting me; they simply wanted the information on gender from the only reliable source they knew. No need for long lectures, hours of workshops, or a shift of categories and biases. In early childhood education all it takes is honesty, relatable language, consistency, hugs, and some stickers for good measure.
Every school year, for the past five years, I have had to come out and explain to a new group of very young children and their parents, how to use they/them pronouns, that clothing and toys have no gender, and that their own unique gender(s) live(s) in their hearts. Every school year of my career I have had gender non-conforming and/or trans children in my classroom. These children are why I continue to work with preschool and kindergarten students and to push for gender-expansive curriculum in early childhood education. So how, exactly, do we discuss gender with children who are often pre-literate, and sometimes pre-verbal? We tap into their sense of imagination, admirable emotional sincerity, and their love of dramatic expression.
More specifically, in my classrooms I have incorporated the following starter mottoes, values and mini-lessons. While these tools are presented with early childhood children in mind, I have also used them in professional development settings with adults:
Openly discuss gender identity and pronouns from the start
Gender lives in your heart and communicates with your brain
- "Someone might feel like a boy in their heart, a girl in their heart, both or neither”
Pronouns help us talk about another person with respect
- Place your hand on your heart and repeat these pronouns (e.g. she has her hand on her heart, they have their hand on their heart…etc.) What feels warm in your heart? Which pronoun(s) feel like respect to you right now?
- When someone sees this symbol they can read it and know how to talk about you (pre-literate: blue=They/Them, Green=She/Her, Yellow= He/Him, Pink=ask the person)
I encourage educators to repurpose these tools, role play gender-based conflicts from your classroom, recognize your students’ hard work and curiosity, and continue to revisit meaningful gender discussions and activities throughout the year. And of course: books, books, books! Try reading the children’s favorite books, this time with different pronouns. Whether you are an administrator, parent, or teacher these small changes in language and approach to gender conversations will mean the world to very young children. Give them a chance to show how inquisitive, accepting, and considerate they are, and give them, and trans teachers, a chance to be.
Syd Shannon, M.A., has been working in Bay Area and NYC schools for over 10 years and is currently the Kindergarten Director at Children’s After school Arts (CASA) (photo credit: @lou.bank)
November 08, 2018
A GSA is a student-led club focusing on LGBTQ identity, support, and advocacy. For LGBTQ students, GSAs can provide a safe and affirming space, encourage leadership opportunities, and promote avenues for creating positive institutional change. In fact, 91.0% of LGBTQ students involved in a GSA advocated for social or political issues, compared to just 74.7% of LGBTQ youth not involved in a GSA (GLSEN 2017).
Adult advisors can be critical to a GSA's success in many ways. These 10 Actions for Advisors can help you provide the best possible support to your club, whether your GSA is just beginning, or in need of a fresh start:
1. Register your GSA
By registering your GSA, your club will receive monthly updates, access to new resources, invitations to youth summits around the country, free swag and more! Registering your club, old or new, is the best way to keep in touch with GLSEN and make sure you're always getting up to date information. Register your GSA today!
2. Do your Research
As the adult advisor, it’s helpful to have an understanding of your school’s policies and what LGBTQ-supportive policies look like. Research the laws in your state, rights for LGBTQ students, and places to send students with more questions, such as www.glsen.org/knowyourrights and LGBTQ community centers in the area.
Also, take this time to reflect and consider your own LGBTQ advocacy. People are called into this work for a variety of reasons: being LGBTQ-identified, having a loved one who is LGBTQ, being a strong social justice advocate, or just being the type of educator or administrator who students trust. Consider what feels right for you to share at different times if you are asked about your role as GSA advisor.
3. Support Youth Leadership
GSAs function best when students are in charge of the group’s goals, focus, and events. In many cases, a student or a group of students are the driving force for the creation of the GSA. If you are starting a GSA as an educator, consider connecting with students who might be interested and getting their input. While your role as an adult ally to youth leaders is critically important, it’s important to consider how you are following their lead, listening to their desires for the group, and focusing on their interests, while also supporting them in thinking through what support they might need in order to execute their goals.
4. Name your GSA
We use the term “GSA” to refer to all LGBTQ-themed clubs. While the term was originally coined as “Gay-Straight Alliance”, many people now use the term "Gender-Sexuality Alliance" to be more inclusive and reflective of the community and purpose of the group. Your students may want the club to be called GSA, or they may want to create their own name. Whether it’s “Equity Club,” “Rainbow Alliance,” “Geography Club,” or an acronym that works for your school, the name should be determined by the students, and the group should be open to changing and shifting over time.
5. Determine the Goals and Focus
GSAs can be community-focused, centering students with LGBTQ identities who want to connect with each other and supportive allies; organizing-focused, centering students committed to creating more LGBTQ-inclusive supports, celebrations, policies, and practices; or both, depending on the meeting, participants, or year. How the GSA comes together and what the students want to use their club time for is up to the students, but it’s important that they (and you) understand these different models and options. Shifting between community and organizing can help sustain a group’s longevity and impact in a school.
6. Recruit More Members
Once you have a core group of student leaders, some basic goals and focus, it’s important to advertise your GSA to recruit more members. You can host an event like a movie night or guest speaker, have a “bring a friend” meeting, or ask if you can put up posters or a table in the lobby to let people know that your club exists and more are welcome to join! See more Tips for Finding More GSA Members on our website.
7. Establish Ground Rules
Having ground rules for the group is a really important step in ensuring that the GSA functions as a safe, more intentional space for LGBTQ youth. These rules and guidelines can help young people to navigate discussing their identities and help them listen to each other more authentically. These rules, along with established roles within the GSA, will help the group to function more independently and to delegate the responsibilities of the group clearly to individual students. It’s important to consider the multiple identities your students bring into the group, including race, ability, income/access, religion, etc., and to ensure that students with multiple marginalized identities are prioritized. Your role is to help young people when conflicts arise, and to remind the group, when necessary, about the established ground rules that they created.
8. Plan Ahead
Using planning tools such as GLSEN’s school year calendar can provide a GSA with options for discussion topics or event planning throughout the year. GLSEN supports three main days of action throughout the year: Ally Week (September), No Name-Calling Week (January) and The Day of Silence (April), providing free merchandise, resources, and ways to connect to GSAs across the country over social media. You can find more activity ideas at www.glsen.org/gsa.
Additionally, try to plan a meeting time that works for your students, does not conflict with other identity-based group meeting times, and is consistent. Having regularly scheduled weekly meetings rather than meeting bi monthly can create a significant difference in attendance.
9. Be a Liaison and Advocate
While young people can be tremendous advocates for their needs, your role as a GSA advisor is to ensure that they are not doing this alone. You can be a valuable advocate for your students by acting as a liaison to administrators, families, and other colleagues. Use your leverage as an adult and someone with access to the faculty meetings to help others know what the group is doing and how they can be supported, and, whenever possible, to arrange for students to enter these spaces to speak for themselves. In the event that your club experiences pushback, your role in addressing the situation, advocating for the students, and holding space for them is essential.
10. Listen and Learn
Young people are the experts of their own identities and what they need, regardless of how fluid and shifting those identities and needs may be. Each LGBTQ youth and LGBTQ advocate has their own story and experience. GSA clubs are student-led so it is crucial to empower students to do the work and assist where you're needed. GSA advisors have access to a special space where LGBTQ students and allies can come together to be themselves.
Many educators worry that they don’t know “enough” about LGBTQ identity to be a GSA advisor. Remember that you don’t have to be an expert at gender and sexual identity to be a respectful and affirming advisor. Be prepared with resources for topics that are outside of your expertise so that as students are exploring themselves, you have the ability to outsource their continued support while being realistic about your capacity. Be sure that you respect that space by modeling pronouns, affirming any and all identities shared with you, and being open and receptive to continually learning new things.
Becca Mui, M. Ed, is GLSEN’s Education Manager. Email email@example.com for more information, resources, and support.
November 06, 2018
As teachers, finding ways to incorporate LGBTQ revolutionaries into your lesson plans is one way to ensure that you are validating the life of the queer or questioning teens in your classroom. By doing this you are giving an accurate representation of how many different identities have influenced and continue to influence the world. You can emphasize where LGBTQ people are showing up in the media, social justice movements, and in the government, just to name a few. Representation is needed to ensure that your youth are feeling safer and visible. Homeless queer youth are even more at risk of feeling invisible because narratives do not include the lens of homelessness and shelter insecurity.
Education is the only way to ensure that youth are receiving valuable lessons of acceptance, inclusion, and visibility. There are dozens of LGBTQ+ icons you can include in your lessons, like Audre Lorde, a black lesbian feminist Poet, James Baldwin, a black gay writer and civil rights activist, Sylvia Rivera, a trans Latina who, alongside Marsha P. Johnson, a black trans woman, was a pioneer in our trans and queer rights’ revolution, and Desmond the Amazing, one of the youngest contemporary drag queens. Also, include contemporary young queer activists experiencing homelessness in your work.
Share these stories to give the youth a foundation, so they can build self-esteem, affirmation, and love. Also, make sure your students are aware of resources available to homeless queer youth without outing their status. This access to resources can empower them, and also help with those who may feel uncomfortable speaking about their homelessness.
Learning curriculum that centers their identities or learning that different identities exist can help all students to build understanding and acceptance. This can also provide a learning environment of growth, compassion, healing, and love. Never forget the power of folks being able to see themselves as people who are part of a community, part of humanity. This is how we start the healing process. Whether your individual students will influence the world has a lot to do with whether they can even conceptualize the idea of change or mold a world they want to see without even seeing themselves represented as change makers or agents for change. And as a caretaker of the youth and their brains for 8 hours a day 5 days a week, you can make the most direct impact for them. You can teach them, open their eyes, and influence their growth. For many homeless queer youth, school can be a safe haven from the trauma they are experiencing while navigating through homelessness and to have a safer space. Be loving, inclusive, non-judgmental, and affirming through policies and lessons; these changes can improve the life of that youth significantly.
Abena Bria Bello is an Ali Forney Client Liaison. This blog is part of a GLSEN partnership with the Ali Forney Center. Visit their website to learn more about what school-based resources and actions can be done to support LGBTQ youth experiencing homelessness.
October 22, 2018
Yesterday we learned of the administration’s newest tactic to once again ignore the struggles and existence of transgender people, particularly transgender youth. A leaked memo from the Department of Health and Human Services revealed new efforts to conflate gender with sex and define it purely as a “biological, immutable condition determined by genitalia at birth.” Establishing this new legal definition of sex is intended to formally redefine Title IX — the civil rights guidance that establishes protections from gender-based discrimination in education. After stripping the Obama-era guidance that specifically named gender identity as a protected category, this new move would effectively erase the experiences of transgender, non-binary, and intersex people — people whose identities, expressions, and bodies cannot be confined to the binary.
Exactly one week ago new statistics were released from the GLSEN 2017 National School Climate Survey revealing just how harrowing of a time it is to be transgender in schools. In addition to seeing general progress for LGBTQ students plateau or, worse, reverse, we also witnessed an increase in gender-based discrimination and bullying. Over 8 in 10 transgender students reported being bullied or harassed because of their gender identity and/or expression. Further, nearly half of transgender and gender nonconforming youth were precluded from using school facilities (like bathrooms and locker rooms) that matched their gender, in addition to using their chosen name and pronouns in school. It is important to remember that this data assesses school climate from over a year ago, prior to an onslaught of anti-LGBTQ bills proposed across the country and, of course, this new memo to eliminate non-binary identities out of law.
Despite the many challenges facing transgender and gender nonconforming youth in schools, it is critical that we also remember that they are, and always have been, extremely resilient in the face of adversity. In addition to learning about heightened discrimination, we also learned that 4 in 5 LGBTQ youth have been politically engaged and active this past year, and GSAs (Gender-Sexuality Alliances) led by incredible LGBTQ student leaders can now be found in more than half of schools. This picture offers us just a tiny sliver of the work many trans youth are doing in their local communities to speak up, raise awareness, and make a difference, and we know they are making huge strides, particularly among people their age.
Last night I stood alongside hundreds of transgender, non-binary, and intersex young adults in the heart of New York City to protest this new federally-sanctioned tactic of erasure. Despite my own sadness, fear, and outrage, I was reminded, standing in a sea of strong, empowered queer young people, that we are not doing this alone. We must remember that this memo comes at a time of heightened activism and resistance in every corner of the country to an administration that has targeted countless marginalized peoples, and the need for them to try and erase our existence only signals our fortitude.
We want you to know that you are not alone. Staff at GLSEN and the dozens of other national LGBTQ+ organizations across the country are working around the clock to ensure that trans youths’ voices are heard, and will not be silenced. We ask that you take care of yourselves and your students, and do not hesitate to reach out to us for direct support at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com.
For those ready to take action or looking for actions to share with peers, we suggest the following (amended from a list by Chase Strangio of the ACLU):
Educate, educate, educate!
- Read blogs written by students themselves like “8 Ways You Can Be An Ally to Intersex Youth” and “What Does Allyship with Non-Binary Students Look Like?”
- Talk to your school administration about bringing Professional Development to staff to spread awareness about trans identities and how to support LGBTQ students. Contact a local GLSEN Chapter to schedule certified GLSEN trainers come to your school.
Support to trans/intersex-led organizations!
- Support, follow, and amplify the messages of organizations like interACT, Intersex Justice Project, Sylvia Rivera Law Project, Audre Lorde Project, Casa Ruby, FIERCE, TransLatin@ Collective, Trans Lifeline, Familia: Trans Queer Liberation Movement, Trans Law Center, Southerners on New Ground, and Organizacion Latina de Trans En Texas (OLTT).
Pay attention to policies!
- YES ON 3 (MA) - There’s a ballot initiative coming to a vote on November 6th in Massachusetts that would repeal protections for transgender and non-binary people in public accommodations. This is the first statewide vote to strip trans people of their rights ever — and it would take away protections won in the legislature after decades of fighting to explicitly extend these protections to trans people
- Read into our “Model Policy for Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Students” co-created with the National Center for Trans Equality to see how your school district can do better at protecting the rights of transgender students.
October 11, 2018
Being an out elementary school teacher isn’t always easy. My first year of assistant teaching, full of the fear of rejection, I reasoned with myself; this was my professional life, which is separate from my personal life and always will be. Deciding whether or not to reveal my queer identities felt like a precipice that I wasn’t confident I could leap across without falling. When I decided to finally to tell my lead teacher, she didn’t flinch.
After that experience, I realized that it was more painful living with the fear and insecurity that accompanied hiding, than it was to cross that precipice and come out. This realization helped me to come to terms with my own misjudgments. Over the years, I’ve been surprised, both pleasantly and unpleasantly, by people’s reactions. I’ve had to learn to not use a person’s religion or age or culture to anticipate their reaction. When it comes to LGBTQ-acceptance, people are not predictable. I had feared judgment and homophobia. I had expected ignorance and insensitivity. I decided, never again to let my fears of people's reactions dictate how I shared myself with the world. These presumptions would not take away an opportunity I have to make a change by sharing my true self.
A few years later, I had the opportunity to teach abroad in Beijing, China for a year. As a biracial Chinese and Polish first generation American, I was excited about the opportunity to learn more Chinese culture and to be closer to my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandmother in Malaysia. I was excited to focus on my racial identity rather than my queer identity, and didn’t realize at the time how they intersected. Keeping my queer identity invisible, however, proved more taxing than I had anticipated, and it reinvigorated my desire to fight for LGBTQ rights and visibility in the classroom. I was struck when I discovered that the first grade teacher also identified as a lesbian. I looked at my second graders and realized that they had been taught by two members of the LGBTQ community, and they had no idea. In contrast, the third grade teacher was a Black, Jamaican American, which was challenging due to anti-Black racism in the community and the limited exposure our students had to Black people and cultures. Nevertheless, she could not choose to hide her racial identity. I watched in admiration as she confronted ignorance and misunderstandings, and I saw how much her students benefited. They learned acceptance and gained understanding through her unit, “Africa is not a country.” They will always have the memory of their third gradeteacher, and have a relationship and face to defend when they hear negative comments and untruths about Black people or face anti-black racism. I thought about how different my life would have been if I had an out, queer role model when I was six years old. I realized that I wasn’t helping my students to gain understanding by sharing my queer identity with just my colleagues.
Back in New York the next year, I was sitting in another new staff orientation, and ready to be out to coworkers, students, and families. In addition, my co-teacher and I were able to work age-appropriate LGBTQ awareness into our existing first-grade curriculum at an inclusion school for students with a range of abilities. We had a school-wide “Friends and Family Assembly”, around Valentine’s Day, which celebrated many different kinds of love, relationships, and families. There was a bulletin board in the hallway to celebrate our diverse community, including students and faculty. I relished the feeling of walking past each day, seeing my partner and I as a family in the lobby of my school. I took a few of my students at a time to look at the board, pointing out, “This is Ms. L and her fiancé, and this is me with my partner.” I had also submitted a picture of my parents and I, and the kids always seemed to have more interest and questions about my Chinese father than my female partner.
My experience as a queer teacher was not always easy. There were some parent complaints after the assembly and there will always be people who think children are too young to learn about LGBTQ diversity, no matter what age. My school found success because my administration wasn’t afraid to have difficult conversations with parents, and understood that this kind of change does not happen immediately. Being out helped me to make real friendships and healthy working relationships with my colleagues and families, and to engage authentically with my students like my heterosexual colleagues. For now, I feel satisfied knowing that I get to be myself all day, whether at home, in the classroom, or with the families, and I’m grateful to be working towards the school environment that I want for all kids to be in some day.
Adapted from Mui, R. (2013). Embracing Visibility. Queer Voices from the Classroom: A Volume in Research in Queer Studies, 73-80.
September 28, 2018
In today’s world, many transgender people face discrimination, harassment, and bigotry. How is an out and proud transgender teacher supposed to teach when such realities exist? What kinds of things can schools do to make a trans teacher feel safe, welcome, and supported? The following four suggestions are a jumping off place to help make that happen. They apply to teachers already out and to those coming out as trans during their tenure at a school. Also, it cannot be stressed enough that the example of trans teachers being treated with respect will not only help ensure a positive experience for them and the school, but it will also have a profound effect on the LGBTQ students in the school—helping give them the confidence and courage to be who they are, knowing they too will be supported.
1. Educate the Parent Body, Faculty, Staff, and Students on What it Means to Be Transgender and How to Be Supportive Allies.
This, of course, should be positive, celebratory, and must follow the lead of the teacher. Trans teachers shouldn’t be expected to educate the entire school about who they are. Schools can have representatives from local LGBTQ centers or local GLSEN Chapters come and have diversity and advocacy trainings to help take the load off. If such centers are unavailable, local trans people (approved by the teacher) can come to help bring awareness of the trans experience. The teacher should have final say on the information shared to the school community. Someday such education won’t be necessary, but in today’s world, it is.
2. Allow Trans Teachers to Express Themselves in the Manner that Makes Them Feel Most Comfortable.
This may sound superficial, but in actual practice, it’s not. It was my experience that some schools try to put restrictions on what trans teachers wear. And while this may not be as true for transmen or other masculine of center trans people, trans women and trans femmes are often looked at more askance, and thus policed more as far as what they wear is concerned. For example, one school I taught in did not want me to wear skirts. They felt it was too much for the students to handle. I wore skirts anyway. The skirts I chose to wear were appropriate to an educational setting, and followed the school’s faculty dress code policy. However, transphobia takes many forms. Trying to dictate how a trans teacher dresses is one of them. The same can be said of makeup and other ways trans teachers choose to present themselves. Once again, follow the teacher’s lead. In addition, always honor the pronouns the teachers choose to use.
3. Allyship in Action: Have a Buddy System.
Trans teachers should have an active ally who can act as a “buddy” for regular check-ins to see how things are going in the classroom, with parents, and colleagues. This ally can act as an advocate if any issues arise. Being trans might bring extra emotional and mental strain on the teacher, and having a trusted ally can help alleviate such stresses. Some teachers may need additional support during parent-teacher conferences and other school functions.
4. Allow the Teacher to Decide About Media Coverage.
It is possible the school might come under the attention of local media for employing a transgender teacher. Treat this with care, and follow the teacher’s lead on how to handle such situations. No one should in anyway speak for them. They get to decide what, if anything, is said. The administration needs to have their backs and ensure they are treated professionally, and not like a curiosity.
In summary, transgender teachers are just that—teachers. Their experiences as educators can be positive for everyone involved if the school follows the teacher’s lead, and takes steps like these on an ongoing basis. Trans teachers need active and vocal allies to feel safe and supported in schools.
www.glsen.org/trans - find videos, resources, and blogs by trans educators and students
Jennifer Angelina Petro is a transgender activist and educator. She helped found the SAGA (Sexuality and Gender Acceptance) LGBTQIA Center as a part of Love in Action UCC in Hatboro, PA. She leads workshops, gives concerts, and shares her poetry on the trans experience. She chronicles her journey in over seven hundred videos on YouTube, and in The Wonder Child Blog. Her story was featured on Liz Plank’s “Divided States of Women,” and in the Philadelphia Inquirer. She has three children and is an avid reader of P.G. Wodehouse.
September 26, 2018
I am a 16 year old girl with Swyer Syndrome. Most people have never heard of Swyer Syndrome or the dozens of other intersex variations. Because of this, there is a lot of confusion around what intersex is, and what intersex people, especially students, need.
Before we start, I need you to understand some things. Intersex is an umbrella term that describes bodies that are more diverse than typical ideas of male or female bodies. There are intersex people everywhere. At the mall, the grocery store, and even in our classrooms. We may not publicize our whereabouts or who we are but we do exist.
We are your bosses, your friends, your employees, your classmates, and your students. In the classroom, we deserve to be respected and treated like every other student, despite the fact that we’re not exactly the same as every other student.
Intersex people too often face experiences in the classroom that no one should have to face. Of course, I don’t speak for every intersex person nor are my experiences shared by every intersex person ﹘ but this does not devalue my opinions or experiences.
Now that the formalities are done with - here are 8 things that you can do to engage in supportive allyship for intersex students!
Intersex isn’t visible. There is no way to tell if someone has an intersex trait - so be mindful that one of your students may have one.
Know and teach the difference between sex and gender. This lesson should not be confined to the health classroom. It is imperative not just for intersex students but for any students who may fall onto the spectrum to feel included and recognized in school.
Avoid generalizations. Instead of saying “girls have XX chromosomes” try phrases like: “typically, most girls have XX chromosomes”. Also be mindful not to use outdated harmful words (i.e. hermaphrodite).
Educate the whole class/as many students as you can. The more that your community knows about intersex issues, and has access to accurate information, the less stigma will surround it and intersex people will feel more welcome.
Encourage your students and colleagues to be allies as well. Shut down negative talk or statements that you hear from your students or even fellow teachers. Obviously, you can’t control what people think but you can monitor the things they say around you and your students.
If your school has a GSA (Gender-Sexuality Alliance) make sure they have an inclusive environment for intersex students as well as a seat at the table open for any intersex student who wants one.
I can’t stress enough how crucial it is to not only say that intersex people exist, but to really take the time to educate your community about intersex people. Not to say that other issues aren’t important but compared to the amount of outside knowledge students have of other aspects of the LGBTQIA+ community, intersex is barely brushed upon and what little students could already know could be very wrong and damaging.
Finally, if you have a student that discloses their intersex identity to you or is out, don’t put pressure on them to teach about intersex or to already know everything about it. They are likely still learning things about themselves and should not be called upon to do the work of educating others.
Conclusion: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post! Anyone can be an ally! The more that we have the more intersex students and people feel safe and respected. For more information, check out interACT and its What We Wish Our Teachers Knew brochure written by intersex youth.
Kenna is an intersex person and high school student. She loves to read and dance, and wants intersex people to be accepted and welcomed by everyone.
September 25, 2018
Have you ever heard the phrase, pray the gay away? Well, that about sums up my entire religious experience as a teen. I grew up in church and loved God with all of my heart. I sang in my church choir, played clarinet in my church orchestra, and served in church mission trips. I even joined Fellowship of Christian Athletes at school and sang praise songs at our flag pole early in the morning while other students were arriving at school. I was a self-proclaimed “Jesus freak” until I was 17 years old when I started struggling with my sexuality.
Reconciling my faith and my attraction to the same sex was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I spent the better part of my college years forcing myself to have boyfriends I wasn’t really into, while praying to God to cast “the demon of homosexuality” out of my body. I stayed in the closet throughout my teenage and adolescent years because I was scared of religious-based organizations and therapists who believe they can change a person’s sexuality through a practice called conversion therapy. That kind of therapy is wrong and dangerous, and can lead to terrible things like depression and suicide. Even without this horrific practice, I was already depressed, because I didn’t know where I fit in or how I could belong.
Like many young people in the church, I was so deeply indoctrinated by my religious beliefs that I was fighting the very core of my humanity: the way I love. I now realize that praying the gay away is about as useless as praying for my brown eyes to turn green, or for a tornado to come and whisk me away to Oz. If only someone had told me then that I could reconcile my spirituality and my sexuality, that I could both believe in God and be gay, then maybe I wouldn’t have suffered so much.
When my church took a harsh stance against homosexuality, I was devastated. I thought God loved all people--but when my college youth group outed me, I had to leave. This led me to turn my back on my faith for a long time, because I felt that God didn’t love me, all because that church didn’t accept me. Looking back, I wish I didn’t let people get in between me and my relationship with my God, but I truly believed that I was an abomination and that I was choosing to live in sin. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Instead of trying to change our sexuality, we need to re-examine how our sexuality fits within this beautiful and diverse world.
Because I am Christian, I wish someone told me about The Reformation Project or The Q Christian Fellowship. These organizations are working hard to spread the message that LGBTQ people should be fully included in the Christian Church.
In a world where religion is being used to perpetuate division and chaos among people, there are many religious and spiritual organizations, from all different faiths and backgrounds, that are fighting back and working hard to be better allies to their LGBTQ members.
If you’re Hindu, the Gay and Lesbian Vaishnava Association is a nonprofit religious organization offering positive information and support to LGBTI Vaishnavas and Hindus, their friends, and other interested persons.
If you’re Muslim, there are groups out there like Muslims for Progressive Values that envision a future where Islam is understood as a source of dignity, justice, compassion and love for all humanity and the world.
If you’re Jewish, look into organizations like Keshet, a national organization that works to create full LGBTQ inclusion and equality in Jewish life.
If you’re Mormon, there is a group called Affirmation, which provides a loving, inclusive community for all LGBTQ/SSA people, and those who love them, regardless of how they identify in their sexual orientation, gender identity, or faith.
If you’re Christian, you can find an LGBTQ-affirming church near you or join Many Voices: A Black Church Movement for Gay and Transgender Justice.
After ten years of struggling, I found a community of people who believe like I do and love like I do, too. I know who I am and what I believe, and I know that my God isn’t a God who rejects people.
If you do believe, no matter what religion or spirituality you subscribe to, one thing is for sure: your God, your Creator(s), The Divine, The Universe or whatever you call it, is bigger than our human understanding can ever comprehend. I believe you are beautifully and wonderfully made by your Creator(s) and he/she/they made you just as you are.
No one should have the right or the power to come between you and your faith, so if you’re struggling to walk the path between your spirituality and your sexuality, reach out to organizations and find those online communities who are working to be your ally. There are tons of books, Youtube channels, and people just like you in the world, who believe and love just like you do.
Desiree Sansing is a member of GLSEN’s Educator Advisory Council and currently teaches high school English in DC Public Schools, where she serves as an LGBTQ Liaison and GSA Sponsor.
September 24, 2018
It's officially GLSEN's Ally Week, a student powered program where LGBTQ K-12 students and LGBTQ educators lead the conversation on what they need from their allies in school. These student leaders from GLSEN's National Student Council took to GLSEN's Instagram and let their allies know what supports they need. For resources and ways to participate in the week, visit glsen.org/allyweek.
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"#MyAllies ask before assuming!" - @soap_mouth What do you need from your allies? Tell them with this unselfie sign and #MyAllies! Register for #AllyWeek in the link in bio and join #LGBTQ K-12 students and LGBTQ educators in leading the conversation about what they need from their allies in school. #inclusiveschools #safeschools #ally #allyship #lesbian #gay #bi #trans #queer#nonbinary
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GLSEN National Student Council member @gayclayslay needs their allies to educate themselves! Tell your allies what YOU need from them leading up to #AllyWeek! Register at the link in bio and participate at your school starting September 24th. #ally #InclusiveSchools #SafeSchools #GSA #QSA #lesbian #gay #bi #trans #queer #nonbinary
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"#MyAllies recognize and actively fight ALL systems of oppression intersectionally." - @a_queer_person How do you want your allies to fight for you? Tell them this #AllyWeek! Register your participation at the link in bio! #ally #InclusiveSchools #SafeSchools #GSA #QSA #lesbian #gay #bi #trans #queer #nonbinary
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"#MyAllies learn about queer identities so we can be loved and accepted for who we are" - @sameerhjha What's something you'd like to ask your allies to educate themselves on? Tell them with #MyAllies and find this unselfie sign at glsen.org/allyweek #AllyWeek #ally #inclusiveschools #education #safeschools #LGBTQ #lesbian #gay #bi #trans #queer #nonbinary
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Tell your allies how they can show up for you with #MyAllies! Register your participation in #AllyWeek—coming up on the 24th—and find resources, lessons, and more at glsen.org/allyweek @j.p_grant #AllyWeek #ally #inclusiveschools #education #safeschools #LGBTQ #lesbian #gay #bi #trans #queer #nonbinary
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GLSEN National Student Council member @junoadekunle needs their allies to be informed and active. Tell your allies what you need from them with this #MyAllies sign available at glsen.org/allyweek #AllyWeek #ally #inclusiveschools #education #safeschools #LGBTQ #lesbian #gay #bi #trans #queer #nonbinary
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GLSEN National Student Council member @jessicachiriboga17 needs allies who keep learning! Do you need the same from you allies? Let us know in the comments below or with your own sign from http://glsen.org/allyweek #AllyWeek #ally #inclusiveschools #education #safeschools #LGBTQ #lesbian #gay #bi#trans #queer #nonbinary
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#AllyWeek starts TOMORROW! Have you told your allies what you need from them? Use #MyAllies to lead the conversation about inclusive schools for #LGBTQ students! @ki_does_activism #AllyWeek #ally #inclusiveschools #education #safeschools #LGBTQ #lesbian #gay #bi #trans #queer #nonbinary
September 24, 2018
Education is the key.
Many people in society (cisgender and transgender) fall under the male or female categories of gender. However, non-binary people are different. Some non-binary people experience a gender that blends elements of being male and female, or a gender that is entirely different than male or female. Some trans or gender-diverse people don't identify with any gender at all. It’s also possible that someone’s gender identity or gender experience changes over time. There are many different gender identities that fall under the non-binary umbrella. Now that you know what non-binary means how you can be an ally to non-binary people in your community?
First off, learn, use, and respect pronouns! This not only applies to trans or gender non-conforming people, but it’s a great habit to develop whenever you meet someone new; Whether it's she/her, he/him, they/them, or Zie/Zim. (Hint: There’s a great GLSEN resource titled, “Pronouns: A Resource for Educators”) It’s a great idea to ask what pronouns students use in the beginning of the school year and share your own. This normalizes the usage of correct pronouns within the classroom and may make those using uncommon pronouns feel less estranged.
Another way to normalize pronoun sharing could be something as simple as putting pronouns into one’s email signatures. All pronouns are valid and don’t necessarily correlate with someone’s gender expression.
Remember, It’s alright to mess up, it happens to all of us! However, don’t feel the need to fall into a puddle of apologies when it happens. By drawing more attention to the situation, it may alienate the parties involved (and makes conversation super awkward). Instead of freezing, just correct yourself and move on in the conversation or lesson; perhaps apologizing in private. They key to allyship in pronouns is maintaining patience in practice.
A note having to do with pronouns and names. When referring to a student, remember that it’s possible they are not “out” to others. This may include other teachers, students, family, etc. It’s imperative to a students safety that you have a discussion asking them what they go by at home with their parent/guardian. Although extremely unfortunate, students do experience being ‘outed’ at home via teacher communication or meetings with educators.
Similarly, it is very important to respect all other aspects of LGBTQ experience such as expression, gender identity, name, and manifestation of dysphoria or discomfort. Being a true ally is not a passive activity. It’s important to not only strive to understand and support minority voices, but use your privilege to amplify the needs of the communities you care about. If you hear an educator or student make an insensitive joke or use a slur (accidental or otherwise) stop the conversation and correct them. This could not only save the speaker from future errors, but prevent an uncomfortable situation for queer people they meet later down the line.
For educators, allyship plays a very important role for students within the classroom. Often when discussions about race, gender identity, religion, and sexual orientation occur, those who share their experiences feel wary of possible hostility. As applies to all students, it’s important that LGBTQ students feel supported and validated by their teachers. This may include actions such as facilitating a conversation with a class about queer-related curriculum and allowing students to develop their own narrative. It’s also important to stress that LGBTQ students shouldn’t be expected to share within these conversations, it’s about the aspect of choice, not enticement or discussion of someone’s personal identity.
Lastly, to be an ally is to not only advocate for, but respect all gender bathrooms. Many non-binary people have no choice but to walk into a bathroom that does not reflect their gender identity or expression. This often leads to choosing between the lesser of two evils. Understanding this dynamic and making all gender bathrooms available to students can help relieve their discomfort. Making sure that these bathrooms are used properly is just as important. There shouldn’t be people smoking, leaving toxic messages or disrespecting a public space. It should be treated like any other bathroom. Just as non-binary students should be treated with the same level of respect as their peers.
Ella Martinez is a GLSEN National Student Council Member.