Dear Ally: You Are Essential
Dear Ally,
No one should ever feel isolated.
I say this after years of constant isolation from my peers. Growing up in the middle of the Bible Belt, I am no stranger to watching prejudice unfold before my very eyes. There are so many expectations placed upon the youth here. For example, if you are not rich, white, straight, and of the Christian faith, you are an outsider.
I am not rich. I am not straight. I am not Christian.
It was not until I got into high school that I ever felt remotely comfortable in my skin. Why did things suddenly change for me? I found my allies.
An ally to me is someone that I feel comfortable around. An ally is an extension of my voice. There will certainly be times in life when I am not there to stand up for myself, and allies will shamelessly speak up in my place. An ally does not just accept who I am; an ally stands with me proudly.
A common misconception is that the only people who can be allies are people from “outside” of the LGBTQ+ community. This mindset casually overlooks the potential of people within this wonderful community to be allies to one another. As a Caucasian, pansexual woman (which means that my sexual attraction is not limited to any gender), I can offer my support and allegiance to transgender men and women of color. My support can go to gay men, to lesbian women, to gender-nonconforming individuals, to asexual people, and to everyone else in the spectrums of gender and sexuality.
If I were to only focus on supporting people just like myself, nothing would ever get accomplished. It is incredibly important that the LGBTQ+ community has internal support instead of internal isolation.
Allies are essential to progress. Like so many others, I have relied on allies for support when my life has felt turned upside down. By being an ally, no matter who you are or where you are, you have the opportunity to touch so many lives, some that you may never even know about.
Thank you to all of the wonderful allies. Together, let’s create change. Here are a few tips to consider:
1. Speak from your own experiences. Use your voice to tell your story. Where have you seen conflicts arise? What have you done to stop them? Tell that story.
2. Never assume what someone is comfortable with. Not everyone has the same past experiences. Not everyone has the same comfort zone either. Certain jokes or terms could seem lighthearted to you yet gut-wrenching to others.
3. Always speak up. If you see something wrong, say it. By calling out injustice rather than remaining silent, you can draw attention to issues and focus on resolving them. Be the change.
4. Provide support. Join a Gay-Straight Alliance, GLSEN Chapter, and/or any other club or organization dedicated to promoting respect for all. Get connected with others in your community that believe in the same things that you do. Many of them may face similar struggles. Support each other!
5. Stop giving excuses. There is always a way that you can contribute to your community. So instead of looking at the limitations, look at the possibilities!
If you want to know more about how you can be a better ally to LGBT youth, check out glsen.org/allyweek!
Your Ally,
Lindsay D.
Lindsay D. is a member of GLSEN’s National Student Council.